Achieve Your Dreams

The REAL Value of Time

2012-02-10T19:12:39Z

The Real Value of Time

Can you hear it? Tick-tock, tick-tock, the second hand of life’s clock ticking by, only going forward, never back.

Greetings my friend and welcome to the rest of your life! As cliché’ as it is, the beginning of a New Year usually means one thing – New Year’s resolutions right? Well, if you’re anything like me, you start off with a really big list of wonderful things you want to accomplish, but usually end up frustrated wondering where all the time went right?

Now, what would you do if I gave you 1,440 dollars every day of your life IF you spent each of those dollars wisely? Here’s the kicker, if you don’t spend them that day, or don’t spend them wisely, you get zero! Well, if this was a bet in Vegas I’d gamble everything on fact you’d spend every single one of those dollars very carefully right? I mean, who in the heck wouldn’t???

Well, I hate to burst your bubble, and although I have better hair than he does, I’m not Donald Trump with 1,440 dollars to shell out every day. However, the incredibly important lesson I’m about to share with you changed my way of thinking forever and I’m certain it will have the same impact on you.

To be honest, I was using dollars to prove a point, but what I’m really talking about is minutes. You see, every day we’re blessed with 1,440 minutes to spend however we see fit. The problem, which I’m positive you can relate to, is most of us waste a lot of them right? Over the course of the last two years I’ve had the pleasure of talking with a lot of older people. And, about 99% of them shared with me “Christopher, I wish I’d done this and that with my life” or “I wish I’d realized just how precious each moment of life really is!” And finally, “If I had it to do all over again, I’d really…” In other words, they have serious regrets. Simply put, regrets SUCK!

Here are my two main goals in life:

1. Leave this world without any regrets

2. Stay the heck out of a hospital!

I’m certain if I’m constantly working on achieving those two goals, no matter when my time’s up, I’ll have lived a full life. You want the same right?

Until then, seriously consider your bank account of non-refundable time every morning. Spend those minutes like dollars and you’ll be well on your way to living a tremendous life!

All my best until next time,

Christopher Rausch (A.K.A. the “Master Motivator”)

I Learned Something Today

2012-02-02T03:49:47Z

Hey There,

I learned something today I'd like to share with you. Sometimes we stay where it's safe out of fear of what might happen next if we...step outside of our comfy zone.

Whether it's a relationship, a job, or whatever, ask yourself this:

If I were single, would I look at (my current partner), and say "Wow...I'd like to meet that person!" or...."Pass..." If it's the latter, then you know the answer to your dilema. If NOT, then you know you need to get your ass to work on YOUR part of the bargain. We've heard it a thousand times, but it bears repeating here "Relationships and communicatioin are a two-way street." Sadly, sometimes we drive the wrong way

Again, same holds true for your job. If it's not working now, and you wouldn't want it if you were searching, then you're settling. Sure, for financial reasons I can see staying at a job you are unhappy with, BUT, I can't see staying there while doing NOTHING to gain new skills etc. for when the right job opens up.

Too often, we sit in our crap, bitching and moaning, but doing nothing to change it...or sometimes more importantly....OURSELVES.

"Seek first to understand...then to be understood"

All my best,

Christopher

To Share: Something to think about - So TRUE!

2012-02-02T03:47:20Z

Read this all the way through and tell me it didn't make you think! Enjoy!

Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the older woman that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment.

The woman apologized and explained, "We didn't have this green thing back in my earlier days."

The clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations."

She was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day or didn't call it "green."

Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled. But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.

We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks. But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.

Back then, we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that young lady is right. We didn't have the green thing back in our day.

Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana . In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity. But she's right. We didn't have the green thing back then.

We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull. But we didn't have the green thing back then.

Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus, and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.

****************************************************************************************************************************************
Told ya it would make you think!

All my best,

Christopher

Copyright Master Motivators. All rights reserved.

What They Said

2011-11-04T04:14:09Z

Hey folks....Christopher here to talk about "What they said." How many times have I heard "Well, that's what they said" and usually about shit they didn't know crap about.

Listen to me: True, I've learned a LOT from what other people have shared with me over the years. HOWEVER, please, don't believe something is true just because someone said it. More importantly, don't neccessarily believe it's true if you see it in print as well.

"So, Christopher, who do I listen to?" My answer: Your gut and your heart!

It's complete bullshit when we claim we don't know what to do about a given situation. We know...we just are too afraid of rejection and stepping out of our comfort zone to say it out loud and do it.

Life is too short to listen to what they said....they said what you should do...they said about the future of the world....live YOUR life for today! Tomorrows are not guaranteed.

If I had a mere $1 for every time I heard someone learn the lesson "You don't know what you got until it's gone" I'd be a zillionaire.

The news...the media...the so called "Experts" are full of crap! Well, maybe not all of them, but you get my point.

My final thought....make a legacy so that someday, your family, friends, the world, will hear about what they said about how you lived your life to the fullest!

All my best for your success and happiness!

Christopher

Yes YOU Can! Wanna Know How?

2011-04-28T05:29:00Z

Ever been told you'd never overcome a particular character trait? You'd always be "This or that" for the rest of your life?

Well, if you know my story, you know I've lived a LIFE of this type of b.s. directed at me. And, as well if you know me, my mantra is "Every day is a new day and what doesn't kill me makes me STRONGER!"

So, this week I was recognized for my incredibly hard work with a promotion to Director. Now, throughout my 18yrs I've received multiple promotions until to where was I had been "stuck" for about the last 10yrs. Through poor choices I created a perception that I wasn't "Director" material. Now, perceptions are one's reality and changing a person or a group of people's reality is INCREDIBLY difficult, but NOT impossible.

You see, this journey of life provides plenty of opportunities to check yourself if you will. Some of us take the honest feedback and work our asses off to overcome our challenges and win no matter the effort needed. Or, some use it as an excuse to continue their bad behavior because they feel "no matter what I do I'll always be like this!" They play the pity game until the game ends. Sad really.

But again, I'm here as LIVING PROOF you CAN do WHATEVER you set your mind to! In just the last three years (and my whole for that fact) I've read dozens of books, listened to hours of audio, talked with countless people, and LISTENED. The payoff?

The entire executive team recognized my achievements and unanimously agreed I should be responsible for another entire department and more staff! My dedication, commitment, and true drive to overcome my own self-created crap worked!

I share this with you because some people say "Well, we all can't be like you Christopher." Well, I say that's b.s. and you can! I'm nothing special....just a hardworking guy who doesn't settle for anything but what the BEST he deserves.

I hope this message invigorates the inner champion in YOU! Look yourself in the mirror and in the words of Michael Jordon "Expect more from yourself than anyone else does" and I promise you'll be rewarded too!

Stay the course, stay flexible, learning everything you can, and NEVER give up!

If you need a boost, you know where I'm at

All my best,

Christopher

Are You Feeling Down?

2011-03-31T04:19:00Z

Hey There,

Lately, including myself, I've seen more and more people feeling "down" about stuff in their life. We all experience it and I'm not afraid to admit it even thought I'm the "Master Motivator."

So what do we do? Wallow in our muck and hope someone comes to rescue us from our own self-created insanity? Or, do we examine carefully what got us to this place and more importantly, what's gonna get US out?

"The truth hurts" is a statement we've heard a thousand times and guess what...it's true sometimes. However, and this is big so stay with me, what hurts the most sometimes causes the most growth. Whether we like it or not, after it's all passed, we look back and are usually stronger for having faced the crap and survived.

Ultimately, it's all about survival or as I like to call it - LIVING! We have to cherish every moment and not waste it on self pitty because our little plan has taken a right turn in life.

I was helping a complete stranger today and it was great! I asked him "How ya doin?" and his reply "Hangin' in there." I said "That sounds really desperate - hanging and all." He proceeded to tell me about the cost of gas, his complaining customers, the news...etc.

So, I asked him "How do those problems compare to families living in Somalia who would just love to have the running water you're wasting down the sink instead of having to drink it with dirt?" IMMEDIATELY he turned around and said "You're absolutely right! Ask me the question again!" So, I did and his reply (can you guess) was different and he even smiled!

It really only takes a few minutes to shift your thinking from crap to cool. The key is telling your heart and mind what's good versus what's missing. If you quit looking so much at what's missing you'll see a HECK of a lot more of what's good. I promise!

Well, I must go focus myself on what's positive and how I can give more and take less

All my best until next time!

Christopher

That Was Then - This Is Now (My Life Story)

2011-03-06T01:47:00Z

This is a quick graphic representation of where I started and where I'm at today!

Copyright Master Motivators. All rights reserved.

The Journey - It's A Work In Progress

2011-02-25T05:08:00Z

Hey There,

I sincerely hope this message finds you well and appreciating your life.

Well, as the title states, life is a journey and mine is a work in progress. With that, just because I'm a motivational speaker, coach, and business consultant, doesn't mean I don't have my own stumbles along my journey.

As you know, my life in the past few years has been consumed with taking care of my mom, working, building a business, working out, volunteering, and everything else.

But, I share this with you because sometimes we get caught up in the b.s. of looking for what makes us happy when it's right in front of us and we don't even realize it.

I coach a bunch of people, I help people see their visions, take action, and get what they want. But, what about me? I'm just like you. I have moments of negative chatter that tries to blow my mind up, and honestly, sometimes I listen for a minute. I'm human...just like you.

However, every single morning we wake up, and have our eyes, legs, and attitudes, we have hope and choices of what will be. If what you've been doing isn't doing IT anymore, it's time to take a break maybe. For me, on my journey, I feel that is coming. Am I scared? Yes! Although, I know I'll survive and become stronger....

Because....everything happens for a reason.

Until next time,

All my best,

Christopher

Why Do We Stand In The Way of Our Own Success?

2011-02-01T05:46:00Z

Earlier today, I was helping a friend of mine who's going through some seriously tough times. Without mentioning those specifics, we ventured off into familiar territory – success.

Now, it seems we’re all going after it, but only a few really appear to achieve it. Why is that? Even for me, the “Master Motivator”, I too have self-sabotaged my own success in various areas of my life…even to this very day. And, quite honestly, sometimes I just don’t know why! FRUSTRATING!!!!

Do we subconsciously think "I don’t deserve to <insert success>"?

Do we fear the failure aspect of TRULY going for it to have the "dream" crushed?

Does the fear of judgment and the need for approval of others get in our mental way?

Are we afraid of who we might leave behind should we really succeed?

Do we really want the success for all the right reasons?

In all my years, in all my experiences, I've learned the difference between those who have and those who have not, is they did what the others weren't willing to. They made the time, they asked for help, they pushed through all the pain, they kept the end in sight at all times and never gave up!

I've mentioned before, we're the sum of all our experiences, right up until this very point. Listen, "mistakes" and “failures” are ways to show what NOT to do next time. Falling down is NOT failure…staying down IS!

When I walk through the halls of my mom’s assisted living facility and look at the sad faces staring back at me – they scream “I wish I would have done such and such when I had the chance” or “If I could just do it over, I would do this and that…I wouldn’t have wasted so much time.” Will this be you?

YOUR life is NOT a dress rehearsal - please don’t think you’ll do it later…because I guarantee you regrets will hurt a lot more than any PERCEIVED pain you’ll feel if you try now and not make it. But at least you’ll have tried! And, if it’s a burning passion in your heart, you’ll find the energy, the time, the resources to make your dream a reality. I know this from personal and very recent experience.

All my best to you my friend,

Christopher

“A Day & Person I Will Never Forget – A Lady Who Was A Rose”

2010-12-13T04:01:00Z

So, here’s the scene: I’m standing in my warehouse at work and my cell phone starts to buzz – alerting me I’m getting a call. I look down at the screen and see it’s a dear friend. Immediately, I’m suspicious as to why I’m getting a call now – from her. A few moments later, I check the voice message, it states:

“Chris, it’s so and so, and I have some awful news to tell you. There’s been a tragedy in the family so please call me.”

For a moment, I consider what the tragedy might be. I think “Did her grandfather pass?” “Did something happen to her mom?” “Did something happen to her dog?” Then, without hesitation, I call her back to offer support and to see what I can do.

Now, have you ever been SOOOOO blindsided by what you think someone is going to tell you and what they actually tell you? Well, if you have, then you know where this is going.

After answering my call, my dear friend proceeds to tell me she found her sister dead in her home this morning! This sister, was also like a sister to me for over 20yrs! My head went deaf for a moment as though someone bashed my skull in with a wrecking ball. I had to ask repeatedly if I heard correctly. She assured me I did hear correctly. I was COMPLETELY speechless! 34 years old, a single mother of a wonderful four year old boy, and she was gone in an instant.

I share this with you because it’s one of those moments in your life when everything makes absolutely no sense at all, but at the same time, becomes crystal clear. Ever had one of those moments?

Well, I tried and tried to understand how this could happen to such a wonderful, generous, and positive lady. WHYY????????? My brain screamed and screamed all the way home from work. Finally, I went back to one of my core principles:

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON

But what reason could I find for this unexplainable devastation? How could I find a way to mend my heart and my mind? I HAD to find a reason – a reason to share with the immediate family, and now with you. Want to know the reason?

Actually, I believe there are several. And, I’m sure you’ll be able to apply them to your life when you’re faced with a similar situation – and trust me – you will.

REASONS:

To bring family and friends closer together – sooner rather than later
To remind us that life, today and tomorrow, are NOT guaranteed
To slap us in the face about the importance of taking care of our body as well as our mind
To perhaps change someone’s way of life to become meaningful when they’ve been going down a selfish and destructive road recently
To provide the gift of parenthood to someone who otherwise might not have had that chance
To consider “Living Celebrations” to bring people together rather than funerals (more on this coming very SOON!)
To show us that all the negativity in the world, the crap we have ZERO control over, is not worth wasting a single moment on. If it’s gonna happen – it’s gonna happen
To live life without regrets
To do work that you love rather than work you hate
To live in the moment rather than the past or even the future really
To always say “I love you” every time you leave
To check in with your family and friends a lot more often than we do

I could go on and on, but you get the idea. I know it’s a cliché but I TRULY believe we’re spiritual beings having a human existence. So, if that’s true, then, when the vehicle (the body) dies, the soul and spirit of the person DOESN’T! They live forever in our hearts and memories. That’s why it’s important to spend lots of time together making lots of awesome memories right?

Ultimately, the best we can do when we lose someone dear to us is continue living in THEIR honor. What would they do if they had more time? Would they sulk and feel sorry for themselves or LIVE every dammed moment like it was spring break?

For me, I decided to honor her life with the following:

Take even more care for my overall health
Always try and look at what’s possible and positive rather than what isn’t
To do less talking and more DOING!
Spread this experience to all who will listen!

I have two goals in life: 1) Live without ANY regrets 2) Stay the heck away from the inside of a hospital as a patient! Not too lofty would you say?

So, with this tragedy, I want YOU to forward this to as many people as you think would appreciate it. Then, I want you to make a list, a bucket list if you will, and write down everything you want to accomplish/experience in this life. After that, for every single day forward, do SOMETHING to get just one step or more closer to making them happen! Heck, if ya like, email me your list and together we’ll make them happen!

Well, I could go on and on about this, but lastly, I want to thank you for the bottom of my heart for being a part of my life. I know we may never talk in person, but please know that your kind replies let me know this is what I’m meant to do with my time here. Shoot, with all this business, I just might throw an “Achieve Your Dreams” party and try and meet everyone in person! Why not right?

So, until next time, PLEASE PLEASE, LIVE Life – do NOT just merely exist in it! Deal?

All my best,

Christopher

2010 Election - You Or Them?

2010-10-19T04:22:00Z

Oh yes, it’s that time of year again…the time we get to listen to all the political ads and crap that ends up just being a bunch of lies in the end right?

Well, I’m not here to talk politics necessarily. I’m here to talk about your right to vote. What I’m REALLY saying is your right to vote for what YOU do in YOUR life!

Let me ask you this: Do you run your OWN smear campaigns against yourself about what truly matters the most to you? Are the ads you convey to those around you really supporting what you’re lobbying for in life? Or, are you constantly looking around at the b.s. campaigning other people are spouting about that you have absolutely no control over?

My friend, consider your bathroom like a voting booth if you will for a minute. Walk in, close the door (like drawing the curtain on the voting booth, and take a look at the candidate starring back at you. Are they standing up for what they believe in? Are they doing everything they promised they’d do in life? Or, are they listening to all the critics and dancing around the issues just to make people like them – to get their votes? Does the candidate live a life of truth, sincerity, and honest ambition about sticking to the most important issues no matter the cost or sacrifice?

If the answer is yes, then give yourself a big smile and walk proudly in life! However, if after careful and honest consideration, the answer is a reluctant “no” – then have a seat on that voting chair next to the sink and think about how you’re going to change your campaign moving forward. Just like real politics, change doesn’t happen overnight. The real change happens one step, one day, one year at a time. Sticking to your guns and fighting for what’s right and fair – FOR YOU!

Don’t let other people’s b.s. campaigning for your time in life EVER get in your way of living with absolute passion for what means the most to YOU!

Happy voting, but if you find yourself needing a campaign manager, don’t hesitate to give me a call or drop a line! I’d be honored to represent the new you in life

All my best to you and those who mean the most in your life,

Christopher

www.master-motivators.com

www.twitter.com/mastrmotivators.com

Where I've Been - The Journey

2010-09-30T04:35:36Z

Hey There Friend!

Well, it’s been awhile, and, as with you, life happens to me too. Fortunately, I’m the best coach I know and I’m always right here to talk myself through those times that really create our true character. And, let me tell you, I’ve amassed a lot more character in these recent times!

With that, I’d like to share the last few months of my life with you. Why? Because it’s important for me to completely open with you. Honesty, transparency, the real me, is what I’m about. I’ve heard the question “Jeez Christopher, how can you always be so positive?” quite a bit in my life. Sometimes, my answer is “Well, I’m not always positive quite frankly! Actually, sometimes I’m downright miserable!” That’s the absolute truth. I am human after all right?

So, I’d like to catch you up on the roller coaster of a journey I’ve taken with my mom over the last two years. She is the only living blood relative that I know of. Well, I do share plasma with another individual who, some might call my sister, but that story is for another time. Also, recently I found out my sperm donor, some might call my dad, actually died in 1993. Unfortunately, he was never a part of my life. Now, back to my story.

Last year, in March of 2009, a new chapter in life with my mom began. For now, we’ll call it the “Hospital & Hell” chapter. Here’s a quick breakdown of the events since then:

(March-April) The Hand (her dog bit her severely in her predominant hand which got incredibly infected)

Several trips to the emergency room
Admitted a few times for surgeries
Small quarter size wound appears on her lower right leg
Brought her dog to stay at our house (miserable experience for everyone)
Drove every single day to Hemet (200 miles total round trip including work) to take care of her cats while she was in the hospital (You’ll never believe how many!)

(May – Aug) Helped out a few times a month with grocery shopping etc. She was fairly independent again.

(Sept – Dec) The Rest of The Body

Several trips to Hemet (1hr each way) each month to loan money and run errands for her
One month in the hospital (vascular disease diagnosed)
- Right carotid surgery – stent placed (90% blocked)
- Right leg femoral bypass surgery (x2 – they screwed up the first one)
- The leg – several wound excavation surgeries (the quarter size wound is growing)
My truck caught on fire while towing my travel trailer to her RV park to live there while she was in the hospital so I could take care of her animals (truck went home and trailer went to park)
Released from hospital 23Dec2009 - She FINALLY quit smoking!

(Jan – May 2010) Doctor Appointments

Vascular/Rehab/Wound therapy appointments multiple times per week
ER visits for the leg (wound is continuing to grow worse - horrendous looking)
Started smoking again
Taking multiple pain killers just to barely make it
Rapid weight loss
Overall deteriorating physical health

(June – YTD) Stroke, Amputation, Lung Biopsy, Cancer

Loss of use in left hand (right hand not much better after initial surgery last year)
14 days in Hemet hospital (dozens of tests)
Three weeks in UCI hospital for right leg amputation
Moved to skilled nursing facility
Several weeks/miles of driving to clean and pack her trailer and shed
We adopted out her final four cats (wait until you hear the back story on this!)
Her dog (the most important thing in her life) is STILL staying with our friends
Doctors appointments for stitches removal, potential cancer treatments, and vascular discussions about surgery on LEFT carotid that’s 85% blocked (right one completely failed and collapsed)
Two significant masses in her left lung (Stage IV) – radiation only possible treatment (5 days a week for 6 weeks she would have to go)
68^th birthday (probably her last)
Rehabilitating her mobility with prosthetic and getting stronger – actually doing incredible on this part!
Left leg – is now showing significant narrowing of the arteries – the same that happened with the right leg

I can’t even begin to put into words the emotional and physical beating I’ve endured these last two years. As you know, I truly believe, in my gut, that everything happens for a reason. Ya ever feel like life is a test? Truth be told: I’m not one to fail at tests – no matter what they are! Giving up isn’t in my vocabulary OR in my heart.

Love – most people believe I’ve endured these last two years because it’s my mother and I’d do anything for her. Well, they’re partly right. More on that story later…you WON’T want to miss it.

My daily mantra: “Everyday is a new day and what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger” – this, with the love and support of my awesome wife, great friends and family, and, of course you, have been the strength in my life when I was weak. When I was so tired that I just wanted to sleep for 10days in a row and never wake up. ALL of you – are MY FAMILY!

Meanwhile, during all of this, I’ve continued, for the most part, my daily life. A full-time job (9+hrs a day), a two hour commute (sometimes longer), working out, fulfilling my passion with Master Motivators (speaking, coaching, and consulting), and even getting in a little fun now and again.

Again, I share these intimate details of my life with you because I truly want you to know I practice what I preach. I’m living proof, as I’m sure you are with your life, that it isn’t what happens to us that creates our destiny – it’s how we react to it that does.

So, where do we go from here? Well, next Tuesday, October 5^th at 4pm, we have an emergency appointment with a vascular surgeon. He will share with us her options. They could be (1) Angiogram w/possible stent and medication therapy (2) No surgery and only medication therapy (because she’s already got SO much vascular damage to her entire body (3) Femoral artery bypass surgery Or…nothing. It might just be too late and too far gone.

Meanwhile, back up in the lung area, the place we get our air from, those two masses are not receiving any combative treatments. So, they’re by all means, growing. Without any treatment, she can (1) Be extremely susceptive to pneumonia (2) Suffocate to death (3) The cancer will spread to other organs and…I’m sorry to be graphic, but the harm you do today will have lethal effects later.

Oh yeah, meanwhile all of this is taking place, the chances for a partial or full stroke are with us every minute of everyday…until something, if anything to fix the vascular disease, I doubt it – it’s too late.

Listen, from the moment we’re born, we immediately start dying. We’re all dying, but some, might actually be enjoying the journey! Living life and merely existing day in and day out is the difference. Which category are you in? Honestly?

This life isn’t a dress rehearsal. We only get one shot! Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m going to do my damdest to go out banging pots and pans showing the world that I LIVED my life. Are you?

Again, thank you from the deepest parts of my heart for your continued love and support. You are incredible and if there’s ever anything I can do for you, a family member, or even your friend, let me know!

Until next time, which will be more regular now (I hope), PLEASE live YOUR EXTRAORDINARY life!

All my best,

Christopher

Relationships - A Picture Is Worth 1,000 Words

2010-06-02T05:14:00Z

Someone’s standing there in front of you, arms folded, tapping their foot, with a dreadful scowl etched on their face, telling you "I'm fine! I don't know what you're talking about! Everything's okay!" Do you believe them? Of course NOT! That’s why they say “A picture is worth a 1,000 words!”

Hello and welcome back to our continuing discussion about relationship management.

Give or take, about 85% of our communication is done with our body – head to toe.

Face (eyes, eyebrows, nose, mouth, teeth, cheeks, forehead, eyelids, jaw…)
Body (head, shoulders, arms, hands, back, legs, knees…)
Voice (tone, decibel, variation, speed, inflection, word usage…)

With just these few identifiers, we can easily see there’s a LOT more going on than just the words we pick for the actual message. The problem is this: we don’t actively consider our body language and the UNINTENDED messages it’s probably BROADCASTING. Well, this is unless you’re spending as much time in front of a mirror as the Kardashian women – then you’re probably golden!

True story: Quite often, when I was younger, people would ask me why I was mad. I’d say “I’m not mad, actually I’m in a great mood – what would give you that impression?” The answer never changed “you just look pissed off right now!" So, I decided to do an experiment. I put a very small mirror on my desk. Then, every once in a while, I‘d look into it as I was talking with someone. What I saw, didn’t match my mood at all. One thing was for sure, I didn't want people to think I was angry all the time! Who becomes happy and successful with that reputation? Just take a trip to your local DMV office to be reminded.

So, I had to start practicing making my facial features more pleasant and inviting. Don’t laugh! Course, I could only imagine what was going through people’s minds when they saw me during the practicing stage. “Man, is he having a seizure right now or maybe drunk?” The major hurdle for me was my teeth. They weren’t straight so I never smiled. Can’t put on a happy face with messed up teeth right? Well, you can, but I didn’t believe so at the time. Because sending the right message (happy and fun) was so important to me, I made a conscious decision to get braces in my early 30’s and other cosmetic work. I really wanted to smile and feel really good about it. After $8,000, 5 years and some minor pain, my teeth were straight! Guess what? It’s only been four years since that awesome day when I smiled and REALLY felt GREAT about it! Now, I smile all the time – especially when someone’s being rude to me

Since then, combined with my continuous attention to my body language, my reputation has changed incredibly for the better. So, to be successful, we MUST take responsibility for thinking consciously about OUR body language. It's about making a decision, that when you know you're in a bad mood, you're not going to place yourself in a situation where you have to negotiate something. Who wants to do a business deal with someone who's appears to be mad and defensive? I'm sure there are people you deal with regularly who constantly convey negative body language right? As a result, like I said before with vicious circles, nobody wants to be around them. Therefore, when people don't want to be around them, they become even more upset. Then, when they become even hotter, what do you think their chance for positive, life enriching, relationship building is? Seriously, it only takes a few nonchalant sarcastic eye rolls before somebody has visions of using your head in their kick boxing class! The question is: Are you this person? Be honest!

Here’s the truth of the matter - noticing and changing your ENTIRE body language isn’t going to be easy or happen overnight. You’re going to have to REALLY look inside yourself. And, more importantly, ask those around you their (hopefully honest) opinions of how you’re being perceived.

Suggestion: What I started doing at first was attempting to mirror the other person’s body language. It tends to make people feel at ease and comfortable around you. However, don’t do it if they keep scratching places where they should be washing more!

The most important piece of advice I can share with you is when someone’s speaking - give them your UNDIVIDED attention! Coming from a guy who has super powers (ADHD) this is incredibly difficult. Because I can focus on ten things at once, I can listen to somebody talking while typing at the very same time and not miss a beat. Through education and practice, I’m now keenly aware I need to turn my chair around, and give them my full attention (body language) in order to make them feel validated and heard.

So, go get up off the place you find your brain sometimes and go to the store. Get one or two small pocket mirrors and place them where you can glance at yourself to make sure you never look like Betty White after a sour candy eating binge!

Remember: A picture is worth 1,000 words!

All my best to you and your family,

Christopher

PS: PLEASE – no hate mail about the Betty White comment! I love her too and think she’s awesome!

Relationships - Listening Versus Hearing

2010-05-25T05:06:00Z

We’re continuing our discussion about having awesome relationships and this week’s article is straight-up one of the BEST practices you can use immediately to deepen and strengthen ALL of your relationships!

But first, I’d like to thank all of you for your incredible support with this group and Master Motivators! The new friends, the old friends – THANK YOU! You Are Tremendous!!!

Now, in the post “Relationships – Think Before You Speak”, we talked about the importance of checking in with both ourselves and the person we’re about to talk to. Simply put - making sure our mindsets are in a good spot for the exchanging of thoughts and feelings. Remember the question to ask? Yes, “Is now a good time to talk?” Have you tried it yet?

With relationships, depending on with whom we’re talking about, at the end of the day we want to feel loved, understood, respected, trusted, and appreciated right? Well, maybe not “loved” by our boss and coworkers, but at least accepted. Well my friend, the path to earning those feelings is by communicating them. We have to become MASTER COMMUNICATORS!

So, what I’m about to share with you will have an IMMEDIATE positive impact in ALL of your relationships! Are ya ready for it?

You MUST become an excellent listener! “Huh….whadda he sayyyy???”

With so much going on around us, and the barrage of information being thrown at us from every angle, it’s really hard to pay attention isn’t it? Check this out:

We talk at a rate of 130 words per minute

We can listen and understand about 400 words per minute

But, our minds can think at 1,000 words per minute

These figures easily show there’s lots of idle time in the brain to get ourselves into trouble. Ever been smacked upside the head for not listening? You’re sitting there, trying your best to stay focused, but the shiny object in the room snags your attention. Then, when you least expect it, your loved one shrieks two octaves and says “Did YOU hear a word I JUST said?” Then, you reply, in your most loving and oh crap I’ve been outted voice - “Yes dear!” Now the gamble begins. Will they ask me what they said or am I’m safe this time? Not this time I’m afraid!

“Okay smarty pants tell me what I just said!” Quickly, your eyeballs roll up as if to search the dry erase board in the sky only to see it’s blank and you stammer out “ummm…you said…umm….and then….Ummm.”

Ohhh how I wonder how many breakups started with the phrase “You just don’t care! You never pay attention to a word I say!” You see, it’s about being engaged in the moment and shutting everything else out of your mind. And, coming from a guy who has bionic ADHD, it’s extremely challenging, but definitely achievable.

Aim First Then Shoot – Not The Other Way Around!

So, what’s going on in your brains during this idle time? I’ll tell ya - we’re busy formulating our reply and haven’t even finished listening to what’s STILL being said! It’s like we are waiting for the communication merry-go-round to slow down just enough so we can jump on and take over the ride. Sound familiar? We need to have patience!!! NEVER assume you’ve got the whole message by just piecing together a few words you caught here and there. You’re seriously asking for trouble!

True listening takes focus, patience and practice. If we don’t feel like someone’s listening what do we do? Yeah, we close up and keep stuff to ourselves right? Why bother saying anything because we feel that no one even cares. This causes bigger problems when our boiling point reaches maximum pressure and erupts like the Iceland volcano! Or worse, we implode, no one notices, and we exist in a life of constant agony. Doesn’t that suck?

So what can WE do?

- NEVER interrupt someone!

- Paraphrase – repeat back what you believe you understood

- Body language – stop what you’re doing, look them in the eyes, nod and smile

- Ask clarifying questions – “So, tell me more about that…” “What was going through your mind at that moment?”

By the same token, if you feel someone isn’t getting it and is afraid to ask, or has faded away, simply offer “In other words…” or “Let me put it another way” to see if that provides them more understanding. As a last result, start talking in a made up language to see if they notice!

In a nutshell, really make people feel special (understood, respected, and appreciated) by genuinely listening to them and you’ll be amazed by what happens in your life!

All my best,

Christopher

Relationships - Managing Expectations

2010-05-04T05:39:00Z

Hey Friend! I truly hope life is treating you as well as you are treating it!

As part of our ongoing series about relationships, today we’re here to discuss “expectations.”

Very recently, I've been focusing on "expectations" in a variety of areas in my life. Simply put, what I reaffirmed to be true is that most relationships, no matter where you go, are not successful because expectations were not properly aligned between the people involved.

Merriam-Webster defines “expectations as: The act or state of expecting : anticipation <in expectation of what would happen.”

Disappointment
Frustration
Sadness
Anger
Hopeless

These are just some of the emotions we experience when our expectations are not met right? Or in other words, when what we anticipated to happen didn’t.

The funny thing about all of this is we get mad at those very people when this stuff happens. But, we have to ask ourselves "did I make my expectations clear to this person?" If the answer is no, then you have only yourself to blame.

Ohhhhh I can hear it now, "But Christopher, they should've known what I wanted!" Listen, I'm sorry I have to break the bad news to ya, but more often than not, that’s not going to be the case. Some people, mostly men (stereotype) are literal beings. Meaning, we have to be told exactly what’s expected otherwise that “romantic dinner” just might turn out to be take-out Chinese and the steamy pay-per-view channel on cable. Get my drift?

The most interesting thing about “expectations” I’ve found is people feel genuinely uncomfortable about honestly saying what it is they want. Whether it's people you work with, your loved ones, or friends, why is it that we feel uncomfortable openly saying what we want? You’ve heard me talk about "conditioning" before and I believe such is the case here. Perhaps we’ve asked and asked for lots of things in our lives but rarely got any of them. So, we simply become conditioned to quit asking so we don't get sad and disappointed anymore. And instead, we bank on the "let's wait and see what happens" mentality. Then, like I said, when we don't get it, we act out and fire-blast the other person for not meeting our expectations! Now I ask you: Is that REALLY fair to them?

So what do we do? Very recently, I decided to take responsibility for managing the expectations in my life. One important area I'm focusing on is with my staff at work. I've gone to them and asked the following questions:

"What are your expectations for yourself?
“What are your expectations for me?”
“What are your expectations for your team?”
“What are your expectations for the company?”

What I'm identifying is their expectations across the board for what they feel they deserve to get (emotionally and physically) while working there. So far, it's been a very enlightening experience. Because, when people are asked to define what it is they truly want, you find that some have serious difficulty describing it to you. For others, you find some expectations are COMPLETELY unrealistic. This is the pearl in the oyster since you now have a prime opportunity to align your expectations and theirs so the result is mutual agreement and satisfaction

So for you, my suggestion is to list out your expectations for each of the important relationships in your life. Then, take the initiative (YES – you’re going to have to get out of your comfort zone on this one) and go talk honestly with those people. Also, my recommendation here is to apply the "seek first to understand, then to be understood" mind set. Perhaps say “Our relationship is very important to me and I want to know, honestly, what your expectations are.”

Managing and changing expectations isn't going to happen overnight either. This takes guts, the ability to be truthful, and a whole lotta patience. What do I mean by that? Well, if you haven't talked about your expectations openly with those closest to you, you just may find they aren’t aligned in the slightest. Then, you’re faced with the reality of having to talk about the now exposed elephant in the room.

Sadly, many of us take for granted that everything will be just fine. That is, until the last straw, weighing a gazillion pounds, causes the poor camel’s back to finally break.

How many marriages wind up in divorce because the two people didn’t discuss their expectations for each other?

How many friendships have ended for stupid reasons because the people didn't talk about their expectations?

How many people have been fired or quit their job because they didn’t talk about their expectations?

Just so I’m practicing what I preach here - Let me make my expectations clear to you. That you will take this advice and apply it to your life. That you will ask me for advice if you need it. And lastly, my expectation for you is to live your life as fully and as healthy as possible!!!

All my best to you and those you care about the most,

Christopher

PS: I always look forward to hearing your feedback (positive and constructive) about these blog postings. Too long - too short? Not frequent enough - too frequent? My expectation is you'll let me know what YOU expect

Copyright Master Motivators. All rights reserved.

P90X -One Month Completed!

2010-04-18T22:01:00Z

Hey There!

As promised, I’m back to share with you my experience with the P90X workout! Yes, by virtue of seeing these words, I am still alive and can still move my body.

First, I'd like to explain each one of the workouts I’m doing in Phase 1 so you get a good picture and feel of what's involved. My guess is you’ll burn calories just reading what’s involved J Always helping aren’t I?

DAY 1: “Shoulders & Back”

This particular workout starts with some running in place, some jumping jacks, and what Tony calls “static” and “ballistic” stretching. And no, ballistic doesn’t mean it’s insane – it actually feels really good! So, then without wasting any time, they get right into it. In a nutshell, you're doing push-ups followed by pull-ups to failure. Failure means until you can’t do one more at all. They incorporate different grip positions, different types of push-ups, and some dumbbell weights for exercises called "heavy pants" and "lawnmowers."

No time for resting between each exercise either! The goal, as you can tell from the title, is to workout various parts of your chest and back muscles. You complete one round of these, then go back and repeat – giving it your ALL! Don’t get scared – there are a few 30second rest periods where you get a drink (no not a beer) and do some mild running in place with ballistic stretches to keep your muscles warm. Warm? Heck, I got steam coming of my arms like an overheated ’75 Buick going through the Arizona desert in the middle of summer!

This workout takes about an hour to complete and usually burns about 800 calories which is AWESOME! Yes, wearing a heart-rate monitor is MANDATORY! It concludes with a cool down and additional stretches so you’re able to move in the morning when you wake up. As the credits begin to roll, you think to yourself "oh my God I'm SOOOOO glad it's over!" Well, not so fast jelly arms! Next up, is the punishing “Ab Ripper X” workout. Listen, any exercise with the word “ripper” can’t be fun right?

This beautiful part of the workout program is 16 minutes of various core exercises designed to create the beautiful sixpack abs we all want. To say it's beyond any physical abdominal exercise regimen I've ever done in my entire life would be an extreme understatement! Honestly, I'm not able to do all of the exercises exactly the way they are doing them, but I give it my ABSolute best I've got. I mentally tell myself "you CAN do this! You CAN do this!" Give it all you've got!

Tony (the instructor) says that we give up way too fast because in our minds our little voice says "oh that hurts! oh that hurts! You can stop now it's okay" but the real growth in our muscles and even more importantly in our mind comes when the burn reaches its peak. Now, obviously you don't want to hurt yourself which is one of my concerns considering I have bad shoulders and knees. So, I do what I can without jeopardizing becoming injured.

When you’re done – really done, you feel so EXHILERATED that you’re on a mental high that lasts quite a while - at least until you try moving in the morning. To make matters better, I immediately follow my workout with what they call "a recovery drink." No, not a margarita with 2 Vicodin! For me it’s a protein shake with glutamine that’s added to help prevent the soreness your muscles would normally have. I can tell you it works! Thank God!

Like I said before, I’ve been doing this workout for a month now and have increased my reps and weight as a result of my mental and physical dedication. I can hear ya “C’mon Christopher, can you see results???” – YES! Definition in my arms, chest, and my abs even! No more keg for this guy! I’m down to about a 24pack!

In close, I feel tremendous physically, but almost more importantly, emotionally and mentally!!! It ain’t easy, but then again, anything worth having is worth fighting for right?

Each subsequent post on this will continue to share each one of the workouts here in the first phase. I truly hope you are inspired and motivated to push yourself past the preconceived negative chatter in your head preventing you from achieving your fitness/health goals. Remember: you only get one chance at this life! If you could see into the future, and you are unhealthy, would you then commit yourself to do things different to get a different result? If yes, then make that decision NOW!

All my best,

Christopher

Ps: remember you have the ability to be a role model to others who need to get healthier!

To Share - Time Bank Account

2010-04-18T21:56:00Z

Over the years I've collected dozens upon dozens of motivational stories and occasionally I like to share them with you here. What follows is amazing and I'm sure will change your view of time. Enjoy! - Christopher

Time Bank Account - Unknown Author

Imagine there is a bank that credits your account each morning with $86,400.
It carries over no balance from day to day. Every evening the bank deletes whatever part of the balance you fail to use during the day.

What would you do?
Draw out every cent, of course!

Each of us has such a bank. Its name is TIME.
Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds.
Every night it writes off, as lost, whatever of this you have failed to invest to good purpose.

It carries over no balance.
It allows no overdraft.
Each night it burns the remains of the day.
If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours.
There is no going back.
There is no drawing against the "tomorrow".
You must live in the present on today's deposits.
Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness, and success!
The clock is running.

MAKE THE MOST OF TODAY!!!
To realize the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade.

To realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby.

To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.

To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who just missed the train.

To realize the value of ONE SECOND, ask a person who just avoided an accident.

To realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who won a silver medal in the Olympics.

Treasure every moment that you have! And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time. And remember that time waits for no one.

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present!

Interview - Tracey Walz - Gettin' Healthier Dammit!

2010-04-12T03:06:00Z

Greetings Fellow Dream Achiever!

Part of where we get our motivation to improve our situations is by learning what others like us did to achieve their dreams. Well, this week I’m sharing an interview I did with a lady who’s overcome a major battle many of us have struggled with at one time or another. Getting healthier!

Tracey is someone I’ve known for quite some time and she’s amazing! She finally had enough and transformed herself after realizing that she was doing the same things over and over and still getting the same results. Imagine that! So, I’m very thankful to Tracey for taking the time and sharing herself with us. To share what she’s gone and going through to achieve her dreams. I truly hope you find Tracey’s incredible words of triumph as inspiring as I do!

Question: Describe your life to us before you decided to get healthy

Answer: Before I decided to get healthy I basically ate whenever and whatever I wanted. I had no energy and crazy mood swings. I also was lacking in self esteem and confidence.

Question: What was the final motivational factor that made you decided to take action and stick with it?

Answer: The final motivation factor in getting healthy was my desire to be a Anaheim Power Player. They're the girls who take care of the ice during commercials for the Anaheim Ducks.

Question: What do you do when you have a bad day/week?

Answer: When I have a bad day or week I just try to breathe and not stress too much. I used to eat my emotions but that just makes things worse. I'm learning to take a walk, read, anything to distract me instead of just reaching for food when things aren't going great. If I absolutely need to have food I try to make a healthier choice like fruit instead of junk.

Question: What does your eating program consist of?

Answer: My eating program consists of mostly clean foods such as fruits, veggies, lean meats, and whole grains. I try to avoid processed foods and I don't drink pop. Of course I'm only human so I do have junk now and then I just do it in moderation. If you deprive yourself you are more likely to binge.

Question: What does your workout program consist of?

Answer: I workout about 6 days a week. I do a lot of cardio but am In the process of adding in weight training. The current plan is cardio 5-6 days a week, weights 3-4 days a week, and I try to do yoga 1-2 times a week. I love to go for walks and I will also be ice skating a few times a month in preparation for my second time auditioning for the Power Player squad.

Question: What advice and tools for success would you give to other people who need to make changes like you did?

Answer: My best advice for people looking to make changes as I have would be to be patient! Results take time! I would also suggest a food journal. Keep track of what you eat, the time you ate, why you ate, and calories of course. I have been keeping a journal for over a year and it has helped tremendously! I have also done lots of research on different workout plans, diet plans, etc. You may have to combine different plans to find something that works for you. There is not a "one size fits all" program! If you have a bad day or bad meal start over at the next one.

Question: What has changed in your life since getting healthy?

Answer: Since I have gotten healthy I have more confidence and self esteem. My moods are stable and I have more energy! In general I'm just happier!!

Question: What are your fitness goals moving forward?

Answer: I have never been a runner but I am currently on the 8th week of the 9 week couch to 5K running program. My fitness goals moving forward are to run a 5K race, a half marathon, and eventually a full marathon.

Question: What does your support system consist of (friends, workout partner, or perhaps something like Weight Watchers etc.)

Answer: My friends and family support me, but I am my biggest supporter. I'm constantly tweaking my meal plans and exercise plans to keep things interesting and keep the results showing.

Question: Will you ever return to the previous edition of Tracey? Either way, share with us why?

Answer: I will NEVER return to the old Tracey. I love being healthier and more confident. My self esteem is improving more and more everyday. Oh and shopping is WAY more fun!

So there ya have it! Tracey’s pain of staying the same was finally more than the pleasure she got from eating junk food and being lazy. She did it and so can YOU! Moreover, because she knows what it’s like to feel alone and frustrated, she’s offering her direct support to you to help you achieve your dreams. You may reach her at Tracey.walz@yahoo.com even if just to say “Way to go GURL!!!.”

Now, if you know someone with a tremendous success story like Tracey’s, one that can benefit and inspire our group, please let me know. I’d like to continue interviewing those awesome people who’ve paved the way and can share with us how they did it!

Until next time – Always, ALWAYS, believe in yourself and that you deserve NOTHING but the best in life!

All my best,

Christopher

Relationships - Think Before You Speak

2010-04-11T17:28:00Z

Thank you for the incredible feedback last week about looking forward to this series on relationships! Chefs really understand when they’re creating a masterpiece in the kitchen that it takes the right ingredients in the correct amount right? Same goes for having truly incredible relationships.

So, this week the ingredient we’re throwing in the relationship pot is communication. EVERYONE communicates - it’s just whether or not we suck at it that counts. Well, if you aren’t so good at it now, I can offer in a few weeks, if you practice what I’m sharing, you’ll DEFINITELY improve.

Simply put, communication is the sender taking their thoughts and feelings and encoding them into a message in hopes you’ll understand them better. That encoding is their vocal tone, word usage, body language, and emotion. The receiver’s job is to accurately (key word) decode all of those signals within the message and apply it to the situation. Seems so simple right? Well, tell me any of these sound familiar:

"Did you hear a thing I said?"

"Were you listening to me?"

"Would you just look at me while I'm talking to you!"

"I'm sick and tired of having to repeat myself"

"How many times have I told you…"

There are a ton of reasons or excuses for crappy communication. Sometimes we’re in a hurry and we expect the other person just to put it all together and magically “get it.” Other times we don't really care about anything or anyone but ourselves right? That, if they didn't get it, they should've asked us more questions right?

Here are some easy, but extremely beneficial questions to ask yourself as you’re formulating your thoughts to speak:

What's my attitude right now?

What's THEIR attitude?

What conditioning processes have they gone through up until this point that might effect how this message comes across?

Will this really matter in five minutes or five years?

What do I really hope to gain by what I want to say?

Am I going to say it in a way that the person will understand and appeal to them?

This next question, "Is now a good time to talk?" I’m sure has helped save a few relationships from the frying pan of life. When you use it, the other person keys in that this might be a serious conversation and will let you know if now is NOT a good time to talk. I mean, haven’t you ever wanted to say “Listen pal, now is not the best time for your…”? However, often we don’t say anything – we just clench our fists grit our teeth.

Next time, just say "I'd really like to talk with you but now's not a good time. How about later?" This way you don't take any chances of reacting to a situation using language usually found in Andrew Dice Clay’s comedy act (wink!).

Like dessert, I’ve saved the very best for last. Recently, I’ve learned to ask myself "what's in it for them?" before I say something. If there is nothing in it for them, and they didn't ask me about it, I know to keep my trap shut! Instead, I use that as my slap on the wrist to remind me I should be listening more and thinking less! Remember, we just want to be listened to J

For all my numbers people out there:

Think before you speak + Listen more than you talk = Positive relationships!

Master Motivator signing out J

PS: always be very careful when whispering in front of a live microphone J

How To Have AWESOME Relationships

2010-03-31T04:36:00Z

Achieving true happiness and success depends on many factors, but none really more important than what other people can do to help us right??? YES!

I wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for some awesome people in my life giving me advice, getting my foot in the door, telling me I’m screwing up, and of course supporting me in pursuing my dreams (thank you honey!). It’s absolutely mandatory we possess successful relationship skills to take our lives to the next level of abundance.

Q: So, what is the main ingredient to having successful relationships?

A: They MUST be mutually beneficial!

If you’re constantly taking from people and never giving guess what? You’ll wear out your welcome faster than Jesse James at Sandra Bullock’s parents house!

You see, when relationships no longer provide value we must begin the evaluation process to determine our best course of action for us right? However, in some situations we become hesitant to end a relationship because we are afraid of what it’ll do to the other person. Ask yourself, have you ever second guessed ending a friendship or intimate relationship because you thought the other person wouldn’t be able to handle it? Yes, of course! Feelings of guilt set in and you decided to keep trying or to settle for now until there was a better time.

Has anyone ever ended a relationship with you that came out of nowhere? Depending on the situation, chances are pretty dang good you were crushed and your mind became flooded with thoughts of “what will I do now?” Or “how can I go on without so and so?” Guess what…by the mere fact you’re reading this means you survived didn’t you? Yes!! And, you went through some tough times, but through it all you are now a stronger person right?

You might say at this point “Christopher…yeah I survived, but I’m never going to let my heart open to anyone like that again…it sucked!” Well, here is a very important point to having truly awesome and successful relationships:

You CANNOT blame people in your present or future for what anyone in your past did to you!

You’ve had good haircuts and bad haircuts, but ya never stopped getting your hair cut did ya? NO!

Can you imagine how many truly loving and trusting people are out there who have been kicked to the curb because someone was afraid to love and trust again? Should we be guarded in some situations? Yes. Should we communicate our apprehensions to the other person? Yes. However, what we need to remember is that each person who steps into our life is meant to be there at that time and place. Remember, when one window opens you either jump out of it or enjoy the breeze it offers

Life is a journey not a destination!

Upcoming posts in this series will include:

Hearing Vs. Listening
Speaking Vs. Talking
Body Language – Am I Really Saying That???
How To Manage Expectations – Yours & Theirs!
The Ego – Getting Around It
Happy Or Right? Which Is Better?
No One Is Allowed In - The Guard Is Up
How To Craft The Best Apology
Dealing With Vulnerability
Self Defense: React Versus Respond
Understand Then To Be Understood
Walk A Mile In Another’s Shoes – The Conditioning Process

But wait – there’s MORE! We’ll also talk about:

Guilt
Worry
Trust
Acceptance
Judgment
Patience
Compromise
Respect (earned versus implied)
Hurt
Betrayal
Stubbornness
Arguments
Forgiveness

And…Much MORE!

In closing, whether it’s your boss, your spouse, your kids, the salesperson, or anyone else – you’ll quickly discover how to have AWESOME RELATIONSHIPS!

Until next time, please keep those cards and letters rolling in!

All my best,

Christopher