Ever been told you'd never overcome a particular character trait? You'd always be "This or that" for the rest of your life?

Well, if you know my story, you know I've lived a LIFE of this type of b.s. directed at me. And, as well if you know me, my mantra is "Every day is a new day and what doesn't kill me makes me STRONGER!"

So, this week I was recognized for my incredibly hard work with a promotion to Director. Now, throughout my 18yrs I've received multiple promotions until to where was I had been "stuck" for about the last 10yrs. Through poor choices I created a perception that I wasn't "Director" material. Now, perceptions are one's reality and changing a person or a group of people's reality is INCREDIBLY difficult, but NOT impossible.

You see, this journey of life provides plenty of opportunities to check yourself if you will. Some of us take the honest feedback and work our asses off to overcome our challenges and win no matter the effort needed. Or, some use it as an excuse to continue their bad behavior because they feel "no matter what I do I'll always be like this!" They play the pity game until the game ends. Sad really.

But again, I'm here as LIVING PROOF you CAN do WHATEVER you set your mind to! In just the last three years (and my whole for that fact) I've read dozens of books, listened to hours of audio, talked with countless people, and LISTENED. The payoff?

The entire executive team recognized my achievements and unanimously agreed I should be responsible for another entire department and more staff! My dedication, commitment, and true drive to overcome my own self-created crap worked!

I share this with you because some people say "Well, we all can't be like you Christopher." Well, I say that's b.s. and you can! I'm nothing special....just a hardworking guy who doesn't settle for anything but what the BEST he deserves.

I hope this message invigorates the inner champion in YOU! Look yourself in the mirror and in the words of Michael Jordon "Expect more from yourself than anyone else does" and I promise you'll be rewarded too!

Stay the course, stay flexible, learning everything you can, and NEVER give up!

If you need a boost, you know where I'm at

All my best,

Christopher

Hey There,

Lately, including myself, I've seen more and more people feeling "down" about stuff in their life. We all experience it and I'm not afraid to admit it even thought I'm the "Master Motivator."

So what do we do? Wallow in our muck and hope someone comes to rescue us from our own self-created insanity? Or, do we examine carefully what got us to this place and more importantly, what's gonna get US out?

"The truth hurts" is a statement we've heard a thousand times and guess what...it's true sometimes. However, and this is big so stay with me, what hurts the most sometimes causes the most growth. Whether we like it or not, after it's all passed, we look back and are usually stronger for having faced the crap and survived.

Ultimately, it's all about survival or as I like to call it - LIVING! We have to cherish every moment and not waste it on self pitty because our little plan has taken a right turn in life.

I was helping a complete stranger today and it was great! I asked him "How ya doin?" and his reply "Hangin' in there." I said "That sounds really desperate - hanging and all." He proceeded to tell me about the cost of gas, his complaining customers, the news...etc.

So, I asked him "How do those problems compare to families living in Somalia who would just love to have the running water you're wasting down the sink instead of having to drink it with dirt?" IMMEDIATELY he turned around and said "You're absolutely right! Ask me the question again!" So, I did and his reply (can you guess) was different and he even smiled!

It really only takes a few minutes to shift your thinking from crap to cool. The key is telling your heart and mind what's good versus what's missing. If you quit looking so much at what's missing you'll see a HECK of a lot more of what's good. I promise!

Well, I must go focus myself on what's positive and how I can give more and take less

All my best until next time!

Christopher

Hey There,

I sincerely hope this message finds you well and appreciating your life.

Well, as the title states, life is a journey and mine is a work in progress. With that, just because I'm a motivational speaker, coach, and business consultant, doesn't mean I don't have my own stumbles along my journey.

As you know, my life in the past few years has been consumed with taking care of my mom, working, building a business, working out, volunteering, and everything else.

But, I share this with you because sometimes we get caught up in the b.s. of looking for what makes us happy when it's right in front of us and we don't even realize it.

I coach a bunch of people, I help people see their visions, take action, and get what they want. But, what about me? I'm just like you. I have moments of negative chatter that tries to blow my mind up, and honestly, sometimes I listen for a minute. I'm human...just like you.

However, every single morning we wake up, and have our eyes, legs, and attitudes, we have hope and choices of what will be. If what you've been doing isn't doing IT anymore, it's time to take a break maybe. For me, on my journey, I feel that is coming. Am I scared? Yes! Although, I know I'll survive and become stronger....

Because....everything happens for a reason.

Until next time,

All my best,

Christopher

Earlier today, I was helping a friend of mine who's going through some seriously tough times. Without mentioning those specifics, we ventured off into familiar territory – success.

Now, it seems we’re all going after it, but only a few really appear to achieve it. Why is that? Even for me, the “Master Motivator”, I too have self-sabotaged my own success in various areas of my life…even to this very day. And, quite honestly, sometimes I just don’t know why! FRUSTRATING!!!!

Do we subconsciously think "I don’t deserve to <insert success>"?

Do we fear the failure aspect of TRULY going for it to have the "dream" crushed?

Does the fear of judgment and the need for approval of others get in our mental way?

Are we afraid of who we might leave behind should we really succeed?

Do we really want the success for all the right reasons?

In all my years, in all my experiences, I've learned the difference between those who have and those who have not, is they did what the others weren't willing to. They made the time, they asked for help, they pushed through all the pain, they kept the end in sight at all times and never gave up!

I've mentioned before, we're the sum of all our experiences, right up until this very point. Listen, "mistakes" and “failures” are ways to show what NOT to do next time. Falling down is NOT failure…staying down IS!

When I walk through the halls of my mom’s assisted living facility and look at the sad faces staring back at me – they scream “I wish I would have done such and such when I had the chance” or “If I could just do it over, I would do this and that…I wouldn’t have wasted so much time.” Will this be you?

YOUR life is NOT a dress rehearsal - please don’t think you’ll do it later…because I guarantee you regrets will hurt a lot more than any PERCEIVED pain you’ll feel if you try now and not make it. But at least you’ll have tried! And, if it’s a burning passion in your heart, you’ll find the energy, the time, the resources to make your dream a reality. I know this from personal and very recent experience.

All my best to you my friend,

Christopher 

So, here’s the scene: I’m standing in my warehouse at work and my cell phone starts to buzz – alerting me I’m getting a call. I look down at the screen and see it’s a dear friend. Immediately, I’m suspicious as to why I’m getting a call now – from her. A few moments later, I check the voice message, it states:

“Chris, it’s so and so, and I have some awful news to tell you. There’s been a tragedy in the family so please call me.”

For a moment, I consider what the tragedy might be. I think “Did her grandfather pass?” “Did something happen to her mom?” “Did something happen to her dog?” Then, without hesitation, I call her back to offer support and to see what I can do.

Now, have you ever been SOOOOO blindsided by what you think someone is going to tell you and what they actually tell you? Well, if you have, then you know where this is going.

After answering my call, my dear friend proceeds to tell me she found her sister dead in her home this morning! This sister, was also like a sister to me for over 20yrs! My head went deaf for a moment as though someone bashed my skull in with a wrecking ball. I had to ask repeatedly if I heard correctly. She assured me I did hear correctly. I was COMPLETELY speechless! 34 years old, a single mother of a wonderful four year old boy, and she was gone in an instant.

I share this with you because it’s one of those moments in your life when everything makes absolutely no sense at all, but at the same time, becomes crystal clear. Ever had one of those moments?

Well, I tried and tried to understand how this could happen to such a wonderful, generous, and positive lady. WHYY????????? My brain screamed and screamed all the way home from work. Finally, I went back to one of my core principles:

But what reason could I find for this unexplainable devastation? How could I find a way to mend my heart and my mind? I HAD to find a reason – a reason to share with the immediate family, and now with you. Want to know the reason?

Actually, I believe there are several. And, I’m sure you’ll be able to apply them to your life when you’re faced with a similar situation – and trust me – you will.

REASONS:

1. To bring family and friends closer together – sooner rather than later
2. To remind us that life, today and tomorrow, are NOT guaranteed
3. To slap us in the face about the importance of taking care of our body as well as our mind
4. To perhaps change someone’s way of life to become meaningful when they’ve been going down a selfish and destructive road recently
5. To provide the gift of parenthood to someone who otherwise might not have had that chance
6. To consider “Living Celebrations” to bring people together rather than funerals (more on this coming very SOON!)
7. To show us that all the negativity in the world, the crap we have ZERO control over, is not worth wasting a single moment on. If it’s gonna happen – it’s gonna happen
8. To live life without regrets
9. To do work that you love rather than work you hate
10. To live in the moment rather than the past or even the future really
11. To always say “I love you” every time you leave
12. To check in with your family and friends a lot more often than we do

I could go on and on, but you get the idea. I know it’s a cliché but I TRULY believe we’re spiritual beings having a human existence. So, if that’s true, then, when the vehicle (the body) dies, the soul and spirit of the person DOESN’T! They live forever in our hearts and memories. That’s why it’s important to spend lots of time together making lots of awesome memories right?

Ultimately, the best we can do when we lose someone dear to us is continue living in THEIR honor. What would they do if they had more time? Would they sulk and feel sorry for themselves or LIVE every dammed moment like it was spring break?

For me, I decided to honor her life with the following:

1. Take even more care for my overall health
2. Always try and look at what’s possible and positive rather than what isn’t
3. To do less talking and more DOING!
4. Spread this experience to all who will listen!

I have two goals in life: 1) Live without ANY regrets 2) Stay the heck away from the inside of a hospital as a patient! Not too lofty would you say?

So, with this tragedy, I want YOU to forward this to as many people as you think would appreciate it. Then, I want you to make a list, a bucket list if you will, and write down everything you want to accomplish/experience in this life. After that, for every single day forward, do SOMETHING to get just one step or more closer to making them happen! Heck, if ya like, email me your list and together we’ll make them happen!

Well, I could go on and on about this, but lastly, I want to thank you for the bottom of my heart for being a part of my life. I know we may never talk in person, but please know that your kind replies let me know this is what I’m meant to do with my time here. Shoot, with all this business, I just might throw an “Achieve Your Dreams” party and try and meet everyone in person! Why not right?

So, until next time, PLEASE PLEASE, LIVE Life – do NOT just merely exist in it! Deal?

All my best,

Christopher

Oh yes, it’s that time of year again…the time we get to listen to all the political ads and crap that ends up just being a bunch of lies in the end right?

Well, I’m not here to talk politics necessarily. I’m here to talk about your right to vote. What I’m REALLY saying is your right to vote for what YOU do in YOUR life!

Let me ask you this: Do you run your OWN smear campaigns against yourself about what truly matters the most to you? Are the ads you convey to those around you really supporting what you’re lobbying for in life? Or, are you constantly looking around at the b.s. campaigning other people are spouting about that you have absolutely no control over?

My friend, consider your bathroom like a voting booth if you will for a minute. Walk in, close the door (like drawing the curtain on the voting booth, and take a look at the candidate starring back at you. Are they standing up for what they believe in? Are they doing everything they promised they’d do in life? Or, are they listening to all the critics and dancing around the issues just to make people like them – to get their votes? Does the candidate live a life of truth, sincerity, and honest ambition about sticking to the most important issues no matter the cost or sacrifice?

If the answer is yes, then give yourself a big smile and walk proudly in life! However, if after careful and honest consideration, the answer is a reluctant “no” – then have a seat on that voting chair next to the sink and think about how you’re going to change your campaign moving forward. Just like real politics, change doesn’t happen overnight. The real change happens one step, one day, one year at a time. Sticking to your guns and fighting for what’s right and fair – FOR YOU!

Don’t let other people’s b.s. campaigning for your time in life EVER get in your way of living with absolute passion for what means the most to YOU!

Happy voting, but if you find yourself needing a campaign manager, don’t hesitate to give me a call or drop a line! I’d be honored to represent the new you in life

All my best to you and those who mean the most in your life,

Christopher

www.master-motivators.com

www.twitter.com/mastrmotivators.com

Hey There Friend!

Well, it’s been awhile, and, as with you, life happens to me too. Fortunately, I’m the best coach I know and I’m always right here to talk myself through those times that really create our true character. And, let me tell you, I’ve amassed a lot more character in these recent times!

With that, I’d like to share the last few months of my life with you. Why? Because it’s important for me to completely open with you. Honesty, transparency, the real me, is what I’m about. I’ve heard the question “Jeez Christopher, how can you always be so positive?” quite a bit in my life. Sometimes, my answer is “Well, I’m not always positive quite frankly! Actually, sometimes I’m downright miserable!” That’s the absolute truth. I am human after all right?

So, I’d like to catch you up on the roller coaster of a journey I’ve taken with my mom over the last two years. She is the only living blood relative that I know of. Well, I do share plasma with another individual who, some might call my sister, but that story is for another time. Also, recently I found out my sperm donor, some might call my dad, actually died in 1993. Unfortunately, he was never a part of my life. Now, back to my story.  

Last year, in March of 2009, a new chapter in life with my mom began. For now, we’ll call it the “Hospital & Hell” chapter. Here’s a quick breakdown of the events since then:

(March-April) The Hand (her dog bit her severely in her predominant hand which got incredibly infected)

• Several trips to the emergency room
• Admitted a few times for surgeries
• Small quarter size wound appears on her lower right leg
• Brought her dog to stay at our house (miserable experience for everyone)
• Drove every single day to Hemet (200 miles total round trip including work) to take care of her cats while she was in the hospital (You’ll never believe how many!)

(May – Aug) Helped out a few times a month with grocery shopping etc. She was fairly independent again.

(Sept – Dec) The Rest of The Body

• Several trips to Hemet (1hr each way) each month to loan money and run errands for her
• One month in the hospital (vascular disease diagnosed)
  • Right carotid surgery – stent placed (90% blocked)
  • Right leg femoral bypass surgery (x2 – they screwed up the first one)
  • The leg – several wound excavation surgeries (the quarter size wound is growing)
• My truck caught on fire while towing my travel trailer to her RV park to live there while she was in the hospital so I could take care of her animals (truck went home and trailer went to park)
• Released from hospital 23Dec2009 - She FINALLY quit smoking!

(Jan – May 2010) Doctor Appointments

• Vascular/Rehab/Wound therapy appointments multiple times per week
• ER visits for the leg (wound is continuing to grow worse - horrendous looking)
• Started smoking again
• Taking multiple pain killers just to barely make it
• Rapid weight loss
• Overall deteriorating physical health

(June – YTD) Stroke, Amputation, Lung Biopsy, Cancer

• Loss of use in left hand (right hand not much better after initial surgery last year)
• 14 days in Hemet hospital (dozens of tests)
• Three weeks in UCI hospital for right leg amputation
• Moved to skilled nursing facility
• Several weeks/miles of driving to clean and pack her trailer and shed
• We adopted out her final four cats (wait until you hear the back story on this!)
• Her dog (the most important thing in her life) is STILL staying with our friends
• Doctors appointments for stitches removal, potential cancer treatments, and vascular discussions about surgery on LEFT carotid that’s 85% blocked (right one completely failed and collapsed)
• Two significant masses in her left lung (Stage IV) – radiation only possible treatment (5 days a week for 6 weeks she would have to go)
• 68^th birthday (probably her last)
• Rehabilitating her mobility with prosthetic and getting stronger – actually doing incredible on this part!
• Left leg – is now showing significant narrowing of the arteries – the same that happened with the right leg

I can’t even begin to put into words the emotional and physical beating I’ve endured these last two years. As you know, I truly believe, in my gut, that everything happens for a reason. Ya ever feel like life is a test? Truth be told: I’m not one to fail at tests – no matter what they are! Giving up isn’t in my vocabulary OR in my heart.

Love – most people believe I’ve endured these last two years because it’s my mother and I’d do anything for her. Well, they’re partly right. More on that story later…you WON’T want to miss it.  

My daily mantra: “Everyday is a new day and what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger” – this, with the love and support of my awesome wife, great friends and family, and, of course you, have been the strength in my life when I was weak. When I was so tired that I just wanted to sleep for 10days in a row and never wake up. ALL of you – are MY FAMILY!

Meanwhile, during all of this, I’ve continued, for the most part, my daily life. A full-time job (9+hrs a day), a two hour commute (sometimes longer), working out, fulfilling my passion with Master Motivators (speaking, coaching, and consulting), and even getting in a little fun now and again.  

Again, I share these intimate details of my life with you because I truly want you to know I practice what I preach. I’m living proof, as I’m sure you are with your life, that it isn’t what happens to us that creates our destiny – it’s how we react to it that does.

So, where do we go from here? Well, next Tuesday, October 5^th at 4pm, we have an emergency appointment with a vascular surgeon. He will share with us her options. They could be (1) Angiogram w/possible stent and medication therapy (2) No surgery and only medication therapy (because she’s already got SO much vascular damage to her entire body (3) Femoral artery bypass surgery Or…nothing. It might just be too late and too far gone.

Meanwhile, back up in the lung area, the place we get our air from, those two masses are not receiving any combative treatments. So, they’re by all means, growing. Without any treatment, she can (1) Be extremely susceptive to pneumonia (2) Suffocate to death (3) The cancer will spread to other organs and…I’m sorry to be graphic, but the harm you do today will have lethal effects later.

Oh yeah, meanwhile all of this is taking place, the chances for a partial or full stroke are with us every minute of everyday…until something, if anything to fix the vascular disease, I doubt it – it’s too late.

Listen, from the moment we’re born, we immediately start dying. We’re all dying, but some, might actually be enjoying the journey! Living life and merely existing day in and day out is the difference. Which category are you in? Honestly?

This life isn’t a dress rehearsal. We only get one shot! Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m going to do my damdest to go out banging pots and pans showing the world that I LIVED my life. Are you?

Again, thank you from the deepest parts of my heart for your continued love and support. You are incredible and if there’s ever anything I can do for you, a family member, or even your friend, let me know!

Until next time, which will be more regular now (I hope), PLEASE live YOUR EXTRAORDINARY life!

All my best,

Christopher

Someone’s standing there in front of you, arms folded, tapping their foot, with a dreadful scowl etched on their face, telling you "I'm fine! I don't know what you're talking about! Everything's okay!" Do you believe them? Of course NOT! That’s why they say “A picture is worth a 1,000 words!”

Hello and welcome back to our continuing discussion about relationship management.

Give or take, about 85% of our communication is done with our body – head to toe.

True story: Quite often, when I was younger, people would ask me why I was mad. I’d say “I’m not mad, actually I’m in a great mood – what would give you that impression?” The answer never changed “you just look pissed off right now!" So, I decided to do an experiment. I put a very small mirror on my desk. Then, every once in a while, I‘d look into it as I was talking with someone. What I saw, didn’t match my mood at all. One thing was for sure, I didn't want people to think I was angry all the time! Who becomes happy and successful with that reputation? Just take a trip to your local DMV office to be reminded.

So, I had to start practicing making my facial features more pleasant and inviting. Don’t laugh! Course, I could only imagine what was going through people’s minds when they saw me during the practicing stage. “Man, is he having a seizure right now or maybe drunk?” The major hurdle for me was my teeth. They weren’t straight so I never smiled. Can’t put on a happy face with messed up teeth right? Well, you can, but I didn’t believe so at the time. Because sending the right message (happy and fun) was so important to me, I made a conscious decision to get braces in my early 30’s and other cosmetic work. I really wanted to smile and feel really good about it. After $8,000, 5 years and some minor pain, my teeth were straight! Guess what? It’s only been four years since that awesome day when I smiled and REALLY felt GREAT about it! Now, I smile all the time – especially when someone’s being rude to me

Since then, combined with my continuous attention to my body language, my reputation has changed incredibly for the better. So, to be successful, we MUST take responsibility for thinking consciously about OUR body language. It's about making a decision, that when you know you're in a bad mood, you're not going to place yourself in a situation where you have to negotiate something. Who wants to do a business deal with someone who's appears to be mad and defensive? I'm sure there are people you deal with regularly who constantly convey negative body language right? As a result, like I said before with vicious circles, nobody wants to be around them. Therefore, when people don't want to be around them, they become even more upset. Then, when they become even hotter, what do you think their chance for positive, life enriching, relationship building is? Seriously, it only takes a few nonchalant sarcastic eye rolls before somebody has visions of using your head in their kick boxing class! The question is: Are you this person? Be honest!

Here’s the truth of the matter - noticing and changing your ENTIRE body language isn’t going to be easy or happen overnight. You’re going to have to REALLY look inside yourself.  And, more importantly, ask those around you their (hopefully honest) opinions of how you’re being perceived.

Suggestion: What I started doing at first was attempting to mirror the other person’s body language. It tends to make people feel at ease and comfortable around you. However, don’t do it if they keep scratching places where they should be washing more!

The most important piece of advice I can share with you is when someone’s speaking - give them your UNDIVIDED attention! Coming from a guy who has super powers (ADHD) this is incredibly difficult. Because I can focus on ten things at once, I can listen to somebody talking while typing at the very same time and not miss a beat. Through education and practice, I’m now keenly aware I need to turn my chair around, and give them my full attention (body language) in order to make them feel validated and heard.

So, go get up off the place you find your brain sometimes and go to the store. Get one or two small pocket mirrors and place them where you can glance at yourself to make sure you never look like Betty White after a sour candy eating binge!

Remember: A picture is worth 1,000 words!

All my best to you and your family,

Christopher

PS: PLEASE – no hate mail about the Betty White comment! I love her too and think she’s awesome!