Someone’s standing there in front of you, arms folded, tapping their foot, with a dreadful scowl etched on their face, telling you "I'm fine! I don't know what you're talking about! Everything's okay!" Do you believe them? Of course NOT! That’s why they say “A picture is worth a 1,000 words!”

Hello and welcome back to our continuing discussion about relationship management.

Give or take, about 85% of our communication is done with our body – head to toe.

• Face (eyes, eyebrows, nose, mouth, teeth, cheeks, forehead, eyelids, jaw…)

• Body (head, shoulders, arms, hands, back, legs, knees…)

• Voice (tone, decibel, variation, speed, inflection, word usage…)

With just these few identifiers, we can easily see there’s a LOT more going on than just the words we pick for the actual message. The problem is this: we don’t actively consider our body language and the UNINTENDED messages it’s probably BROADCASTING. Well, this is unless you’re spending as much time in front of a mirror as the Kardashian women – then you’re probably golden! 

True story: Quite often, when I was younger, people would ask me why I was mad. I’d say “I’m not mad, actually I’m in a great mood – what would give you that impression?” The answer never changed “you just look pissed off right now!" So, I decided to do an experiment. I put a very small mirror on my desk. Then, every once in a while, I‘d look into it as I was talking with someone. What I saw, didn’t match my mood at all. One thing was for sure, I didn't want people to think I was angry all the time! Who becomes happy and successful with that reputation? Just take a trip to your local DMV office to be reminded.

So, I had to start practicing making my facial features more pleasant and inviting. Don’t laugh! Course, I could only imagine what was going through people’s minds when they saw me during the practicing stage. “Man, is he having a seizure right now or maybe drunk?” The major hurdle for me was my teeth. They weren’t straight so I never smiled. Can’t put on a happy face with messed up teeth right? Well, you can, but I didn’t believe so at the time. Because sending the right message (happy and fun) was so important to me, I made a conscious decision to get braces in my early 30’s and other cosmetic work. I really wanted to smile and feel really good about it. After $8,000, 5 years and some minor pain, my teeth were straight! Guess what? It’s only been four years since that awesome day when I smiled and REALLY felt GREAT about it! Now, I smile all the time – especially when someone’s being rude to me

Since then, combined with my continuous attention to my body language, my reputation has changed incredibly for the better. So, to be successful, we MUST take responsibility for thinking consciously about OUR body language. It's about making a decision, that when you know you're in a bad mood, you're not going to place yourself in a situation where you have to negotiate something. Who wants to do a business deal with someone who's appears to be mad and defensive? I'm sure there are people you deal with regularly who constantly convey negative body language right? As a result, like I said before with vicious circles, nobody wants to be around them. Therefore, when people don't want to be around them, they become even more upset. Then, when they become even hotter, what do you think their chance for positive, life enriching, relationship building is? Seriously, it only takes a few nonchalant sarcastic eye rolls before somebody has visions of using your head in their kick boxing class! The question is: Are you this person? Be honest!

Here’s the truth of the matter - noticing and changing your ENTIRE body language isn’t going to be easy or happen overnight. You’re going to have to REALLY look inside yourself.  And, more importantly, ask those around you their (hopefully honest) opinions of how you’re being perceived.

Suggestion: What I started doing at first was attempting to mirror the other person’s body language. It tends to make people feel at ease and comfortable around you. However, don’t do it if they keep scratching places where they should be washing more!

The most important piece of advice I can share with you is when someone’s speaking - give them your UNDIVIDED attention! Coming from a guy who has super powers (ADHD) this is incredibly difficult. Because I can focus on ten things at once, I can listen to somebody talking while typing at the very same time and not miss a beat. Through education and practice, I’m now keenly aware I need to turn my chair around, and give them my full attention (body language) in order to make them feel validated and heard.

So, go get up off the place you find your brain sometimes and go to the store. Get one or two small pocket mirrors and place them where you can glance at yourself to make sure you never look like Betty White after a sour candy eating binge!

Remember: A picture is worth 1,000 words!

All my best to you and your family,

Christopher

PS: PLEASE – no hate mail about the Betty White comment! I love her too and think she’s awesome!

 

We’re continuing our discussion about having awesome relationships and this week’s article is straight-up one of the BEST practices you can use immediately to deepen and strengthen ALL of your relationships!

 

But first, I’d like to thank all of you for your incredible support with this group and Master Motivators! The new friends, the old friends – THANK YOU! You Are Tremendous!!!

 

Now, in the post “Relationships – Think Before You Speak”, we talked about the importance of checking in with both ourselves and the person we’re about to talk to. Simply put - making sure our mindsets are in a good spot for the exchanging of thoughts and feelings. Remember the question to ask? Yes, “Is now a good time to talk?” Have you tried it yet?

 

With relationships, depending on with whom we’re talking about, at the end of the day we want to feel loved, understood, respected, trusted, and appreciated right? Well, maybe not “loved” by our boss and coworkers, but at least accepted. Well my friend, the path to earning those feelings is by communicating them. We have to become MASTER COMMUNICATORS!

So, what I’m about to share with you will have an IMMEDIATE positive impact in ALL of your relationships! Are ya ready for it?

You MUST become an excellent listener! “Huh….whadda he sayyyy???”

With so much going on around us, and the barrage of information being thrown at us from every angle, it’s really hard to pay attention isn’t it? Check this out:

We talk at a rate of 130 words per minute

We can listen and understand about 400 words per minute

But, our minds can think at 1,000 words per minute

These figures easily show there’s lots of idle time in the brain to get ourselves into trouble. Ever been smacked upside the head for not listening? You’re sitting there, trying your best to stay focused, but the shiny object in the room snags your attention. Then, when you least expect it, your loved one shrieks two octaves and says “Did YOU hear a word I JUST said?” Then, you reply, in your most loving and oh crap I’ve been outted voice - “Yes dear!” Now the gamble begins. Will they ask me what they said or am I’m safe this time? Not this time I’m afraid!

“Okay smarty pants tell me what I just said!” Quickly, your eyeballs roll up as if to search the dry erase board in the sky only to see it’s blank and you stammer out “ummm…you said…umm….and then….Ummm.”  

Ohhh how I wonder how many breakups started with the phrase “You just don’t care! You never pay attention to a word I say!” You see, it’s about being engaged in the moment and shutting everything else out of your mind. And, coming from a guy who has bionic ADHD, it’s extremely challenging, but definitely achievable.

Aim First Then Shoot – Not The Other Way Around!

So, what’s going on in your brains during this idle time? I’ll tell ya - we’re busy formulating our reply and haven’t even finished listening to what’s STILL being said! It’s like we are waiting for the communication merry-go-round to slow down just enough so we can jump on and take over the ride. Sound familiar? We need to have patience!!! NEVER assume you’ve got the whole message by just piecing together a few words you caught here and there. You’re seriously asking for trouble!

True listening takes focus, patience and practice. If we don’t feel like someone’s listening what do we do? Yeah, we close up and keep stuff to ourselves right? Why bother saying anything because we feel that no one even cares.  This causes bigger problems when our boiling point reaches maximum pressure and erupts like the Iceland volcano! Or worse, we implode, no one notices, and we exist in a life of constant agony. Doesn’t that suck?

So what can WE do?

- NEVER interrupt someone!

- Paraphrase – repeat back what you believe you understood

- Body language – stop what you’re doing, look them in the eyes, nod and smile

- Ask clarifying questions – “So, tell me more about that…” “What was going through your mind at that moment?”

By the same token, if you feel someone isn’t getting it and is afraid to ask, or has faded away, simply offer “In other words…” or “Let me put it another way” to see if that provides them more understanding. As a last result, start talking in a made up language to see if they notice!

In a nutshell, really make people feel special (understood, respected, and appreciated) by genuinely listening to them and you’ll be amazed by what happens in your life!

 

All my best,

 

Christopher

Hey Friend! I truly hope life is treating you as well as you are treating it!

As part of our ongoing series about relationships, today we’re here to discuss “expectations.”

Very recently, I've been focusing on "expectations" in a variety of areas in my life. Simply put, what I reaffirmed to be true is that most relationships, no matter where you go, are not successful because expectations were not properly aligned between the people involved.

Merriam-Webster defines “expectations as: The act or state of expecting : anticipation <in expectation of what would happen.”

• Disappointment
• Frustration
• Sadness
• Anger
• Hopeless

These are just some of the emotions we experience when our expectations are not met right? Or in other words, when what we anticipated to happen didn’t.

The funny thing about all of this is we get mad at those very people when this stuff happens. But, we have to ask ourselves "did I make my expectations clear to this person?" If the answer is no, then you have only yourself to blame.

Ohhhhh I can hear it now, "But Christopher, they should've known what I wanted!" Listen, I'm sorry I have to break the bad news to ya, but more often than not, that’s not going to be the case. Some people, mostly men (stereotype) are literal beings. Meaning, we have to be told exactly what’s expected otherwise that “romantic dinner” just might turn out to be take-out Chinese and the steamy pay-per-view channel on cable. Get my drift?

The most interesting thing about “expectations” I’ve found is people feel genuinely uncomfortable about honestly saying what it is they want. Whether it's people you work with, your loved ones, or friends, why is it that we feel uncomfortable openly saying what we want? You’ve heard me talk about "conditioning" before and I believe such is the case here. Perhaps we’ve asked and asked for lots of things in our lives but rarely got any of them. So, we simply become conditioned to quit asking so we don't get sad and disappointed anymore. And instead, we bank on the "let's wait and see what happens" mentality. Then, like I said, when we don't get it, we act out and fire-blast the other person for not meeting our expectations! Now I ask you: Is that REALLY fair to them?

So what do we do? Very recently, I decided to take responsibility for managing the expectations in my life. One important area I'm focusing on is with my staff at work. I've gone to them and asked the following questions:

"What are your expectations for yourself?
“What are your expectations for me?”
“What are your expectations for your team?”
“What are your expectations for the company?”

What I'm identifying is their expectations across the board for what they feel they deserve to get (emotionally and physically) while working there. So far, it's been a very enlightening experience. Because, when people are asked to define what it is they truly want, you find that some have serious difficulty describing it to you. For others, you find some expectations are COMPLETELY unrealistic. This is the pearl in the oyster since you now have a prime opportunity to align your expectations and theirs so the result is mutual agreement and satisfaction

So for you, my suggestion is to list out your expectations for each of the important relationships in your life. Then, take the initiative (YES – you’re going to have to get out of your comfort zone on this one) and go talk honestly with those people. Also, my recommendation here is to apply the "seek first to understand, then to be understood" mind set. Perhaps say “Our relationship is very important to me and I want to know, honestly, what your expectations are.”

Managing and changing expectations isn't going to happen overnight either. This takes guts, the ability to be truthful, and a whole lotta patience. What do I mean by that? Well, if you haven't talked about your expectations openly with those closest to you, you just may find they aren’t aligned in the slightest. Then, you’re faced with the reality of having to talk about the now exposed elephant in the room.

Sadly, many of us take for granted that everything will be just fine. That is, until the last straw, weighing a gazillion pounds, causes the poor camel’s back to finally break.

How many marriages wind up in divorce because the two people didn’t discuss their expectations for each other?

How many friendships have ended for stupid reasons because the people didn't talk about their expectations?

How many people have been fired or quit their job because they didn’t talk about their expectations?

Just so I’m practicing what I preach here - Let me make my expectations clear to you. That you will take this advice and apply it to your life. That you will ask me for advice if you need it. And lastly, my expectation for you is to live your life as fully and as healthy as possible!!!

All my best to you and those you care about the most,

Christopher

PS: I always look forward to hearing your feedback (positive and constructive) about these blog postings. Too long - too short? Not frequent enough - too frequent? My expectation is you'll let me know what YOU expect

 

Hey There!

As promised, I’m back to share with you my experience with the P90X workout! Yes, by virtue of seeing these words, I am still alive and can still move my body.

 

First, I'd like to explain each one of the workouts I’m doing in Phase 1 so you get a good picture and feel of what's involved. My guess is you’ll burn calories just reading what’s involved J Always helping aren’t I?

 

DAY 1:  “Shoulders & Back”

This particular workout starts with some running in place, some jumping jacks, and what Tony calls “static” and “ballistic” stretching. And no, ballistic doesn’t mean it’s insane – it actually feels really good!  So, then without wasting any time, they get right into it. In a nutshell, you're doing push-ups followed by pull-ups to failure. Failure means until you can’t do one more at all. They incorporate different grip positions, different types of push-ups, and some dumbbell weights for exercises called "heavy pants" and "lawnmowers."

 

No time for resting between each exercise either! The goal, as you can tell from the title, is to workout various parts of your chest and back muscles. You complete one round of these, then go back and repeat – giving it your ALL! Don’t get scared – there are a few 30second rest periods where you get a drink (no not a beer) and do some mild running in place with ballistic stretches to keep your muscles warm. Warm? Heck, I got steam coming of my arms like an overheated ’75 Buick going through the Arizona desert in the middle of summer!

 

This workout takes about an hour to complete and usually burns about 800 calories which is AWESOME! Yes, wearing a heart-rate monitor is MANDATORY! It concludes with a cool down and additional stretches so you’re able to move in the morning when you wake up. As the credits begin to roll, you think to yourself "oh my God I'm SOOOOO glad it's over!" Well, not so fast jelly arms! Next up, is the punishing “Ab Ripper X” workout. Listen, any exercise with the word “ripper” can’t be fun right?

 

This beautiful part of the workout program is 16 minutes of various core exercises designed to create the beautiful sixpack abs we all want. To say it's beyond any physical abdominal exercise regimen I've ever done in my entire life would be an extreme understatement! Honestly, I'm not able to do all of the exercises exactly the way they are doing them, but I give it my ABSolute best I've got. I mentally tell myself "you CAN do this! You CAN do this!" Give it all you've got!

 

Tony (the instructor) says that we give up way too fast because in our minds our little voice says "oh that hurts! oh that hurts! You can stop now it's okay" but the real growth in our muscles and even more importantly in our mind comes when the burn reaches its peak. Now, obviously you don't want to hurt yourself which is one of my concerns considering I have bad shoulders and knees. So, I do what I can without jeopardizing becoming injured.

 

When you’re done – really done, you feel so EXHILERATED that you’re on a mental high that lasts quite a while - at least until you try moving in the morning. To make matters better, I immediately follow my workout with what they call "a recovery drink." No, not a margarita with 2 Vicodin! For me it’s a protein shake with glutamine that’s added to help prevent the soreness your muscles would normally have. I can tell you it works! Thank God!

 

Like I said before, I’ve been doing this workout for a month now and have increased my reps and weight as a result of my mental and physical dedication. I can hear ya “C’mon Christopher, can you see results???” – YES! Definition in my arms, chest, and my abs even! No more keg for this guy! I’m down to about a 24pack!

 

In close, I feel tremendous physically, but almost more importantly, emotionally and mentally!!! It ain’t easy, but then again, anything worth having is worth fighting for right?

 

Each subsequent post on this will continue to share each one of the workouts here in the first phase. I truly hope you are inspired and motivated to push yourself past the preconceived negative chatter in your head preventing you from achieving your fitness/health goals. Remember: you only get one chance at this life! If you could see into the future, and you are unhealthy, would you then commit yourself to do things different to get a different result? If yes, then make that decision NOW!

 

All my best,

 

Christopher

 

Ps: remember you have the ability to be a role model to others who need to get healthier!

 

Over the years I've collected dozens upon dozens of motivational stories and occasionally I like to share them with you here. What follows is amazing and I'm sure will change your view of time. Enjoy! - Christopher

Time Bank Account - Unknown Author

Imagine there is a bank that credits your account each morning with $86,400.
It carries over no balance from day to day. Every evening the bank deletes whatever part of the balance you fail to use during the day.

What would you do?
Draw out every cent, of course!

Each of us has such a bank. Its name is TIME.
Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds.
Every night it writes off, as lost, whatever of this you have failed to invest to good purpose.

It carries over no balance.
It allows no overdraft.
Each night it burns the remains of the day.
If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours.
There is no going back.
There is no drawing against the "tomorrow".
You must live in the present on today's deposits.
Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness, and success!
The clock is running.

MAKE THE MOST OF TODAY!!!
To realize the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade.

To realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby.

To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.

To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who just missed the train.

To realize the value of ONE SECOND, ask a person who just avoided an accident.

To realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who won a silver medal in the Olympics.

Treasure every moment that you have! And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time. And remember that time waits for no one.

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present!

Greetings Fellow Dream Achiever!

 

Part of where we get our motivation to improve our situations is by learning what others like us did to achieve their dreams. Well, this week I’m sharing an interview I did with a lady who’s overcome a major battle many of us have struggled with at one time or another. Getting healthier!

 

Tracey is someone I’ve known for quite some time and she’s amazing! She finally had enough and transformed herself after realizing that she was doing the same things over and over and still getting the same results. Imagine that! So, I’m very thankful to Tracey for taking the time and sharing herself with us. To share what she’s gone and going through to achieve her dreams. I truly hope you find Tracey’s incredible words of triumph as inspiring as I do!

 

Question: Describe your life to us before you decided to get healthy

Answer: Before I decided to get healthy I basically ate whenever and whatever I wanted. I had no energy and crazy mood swings. I also was lacking in self esteem and confidence.

 

Question: What was the final motivational factor that made you decided to take action and stick with it?

Answer: The final motivation factor in getting healthy was my desire to be a Anaheim Power Player. They're the girls who take care of the ice during commercials for the Anaheim Ducks.

 

Question: What do you do when you have a bad day/week?

Answer: When I have a bad day or week I just try to breathe and not stress too much. I used to eat my emotions but that just makes things worse. I'm learning to take a walk, read, anything to distract me instead of just reaching for food when things aren't going great. If I absolutely need to have food I try to make a healthier choice like fruit instead of junk.

 

Question: What does your eating program consist of?

Answer: My eating program consists of mostly clean foods such as fruits, veggies, lean meats, and whole grains. I try to avoid processed foods and I don't drink pop. Of course I'm only human so I do have junk now and then I just do it in moderation. If you deprive yourself you are more likely to binge.

 

Question: What does your workout program consist of?

Answer: I workout about 6 days a week. I do a lot of cardio but am In the process of adding in weight training. The current plan is cardio 5-6 days a week, weights 3-4 days a week, and I try to do yoga 1-2 times a week. I love to go for walks and I will also be ice skating a few times a month in preparation for my second time auditioning for the Power Player squad.

 

Question: What advice and tools for success would you give to other people who need to make changes like you did?

Answer: My best advice for people looking to make changes as I have would be to be patient! Results take time! I would also suggest a food journal. Keep track of what you eat, the time you ate, why you ate, and calories of course. I have been keeping a journal for over a year and it has helped tremendously! I have also done lots of research on different workout plans, diet plans, etc. You may have to combine different plans to find something that works for you. There is not a "one size fits all" program! If you have a bad day or bad meal start over at the next one.

 

Question: What has changed in your life since getting healthy?

Answer: Since I have gotten healthy I have more confidence and self esteem. My moods are stable and I have more energy! In general I'm just happier!!

 

Question: What are your fitness goals moving forward?

Answer: I have never been a runner but I am currently on the 8th week of the 9 week couch to 5K running program. My fitness goals moving forward are to run a 5K race, a half marathon, and eventually a full marathon.

 

Question: What does your support system consist of (friends, workout partner, or perhaps something like Weight Watchers etc.)

Answer: My friends and family support me, but I am my biggest supporter. I'm constantly tweaking my meal plans and exercise plans to keep things interesting and keep the results showing.

 

Question: Will you ever return to the previous edition of Tracey? Either way, share with us why?

Answer: I will NEVER return to the old Tracey. I love being healthier and more confident. My self esteem is improving more and more everyday. Oh and shopping is WAY more fun!

 

So there ya have it! Tracey’s pain of staying the same was finally more than the pleasure she got from eating junk food and being lazy. She did it and so can YOU! Moreover, because she knows what it’s like to feel alone and frustrated, she’s offering her direct support to you to help you achieve your dreams. You may reach her at Tracey.walz@yahoo.com even if just to say “Way to go GURL!!!.”

 

Now, if you know someone with a tremendous success story like Tracey’s, one that can benefit and inspire our group, please let me know. I’d like to continue interviewing those awesome people who’ve paved the way and can share with us how they did it!

 

Until next time – Always, ALWAYS, believe in yourself and that you deserve NOTHING but the best in life!

 

All my best,

 

Christopher

Thank you for the incredible feedback last week about looking forward to this series on relationships! Chefs really understand when they’re creating a masterpiece in the kitchen that it takes the right ingredients in the correct amount right? Same goes for having truly incredible relationships.

 

So, this week the ingredient we’re throwing in the relationship pot is communication. EVERYONE communicates - it’s just whether or not we suck at it that counts. Well, if you aren’t so good at it now, I can offer in a few weeks, if you practice what I’m sharing, you’ll DEFINITELY improve. 

 

Simply put, communication is the sender taking their thoughts and feelings and encoding them into a message in hopes you’ll understand them better. That encoding is their vocal tone, word usage, body language, and emotion. The receiver’s job is to accurately (key word) decode all of those signals within the message and apply it to the situation. Seems so simple right? Well, tell me any of these sound familiar:

 

"Did you hear a thing I said?"

"Were you listening to me?"

"Would you just look at me while I'm talking to you!"

"I'm sick and tired of having to repeat myself"

"How many times have I told you…"

 

There are a ton of reasons or excuses for crappy communication. Sometimes we’re in a hurry and we expect the other person just to put it all together and magically “get it.” Other times we don't really care about anything or anyone but ourselves right? That, if they didn't get it, they should've asked us more questions right?

 

Here are some easy, but extremely beneficial questions to ask yourself as you’re formulating your thoughts to speak:

 

What's my attitude right now?

What's THEIR attitude?

What conditioning processes have they gone through up until this point that might effect how this message comes across?

Will this really matter in five minutes or five years?

What do I really hope to gain by what I want to say?

Am I going to say it in a way that the person will understand and appeal to them?

 

This next question, "Is now a good time to talk?" I’m sure has helped save a few relationships from the frying pan of life. When you use it, the other person keys in that this might be a serious conversation and will let you know if now is NOT a good time to talk. I mean, haven’t you ever wanted to say “Listen pal, now is not the best time for your…”? However, often we don’t say anything – we just clench our fists grit our teeth.

 

Next time, just say "I'd really like to talk with you but now's not a good time. How about later?" This way you don't take any chances of reacting to a situation using language usually found in Andrew Dice Clay’s comedy act (wink!).

 

Like dessert, I’ve saved the very best for last. Recently, I’ve learned to ask myself "what's in it for them?" before I say something. If there is nothing in it for them, and they didn't ask me about it, I know to keep my trap shut! Instead, I use that as my slap on the wrist to remind me I should be listening more and thinking less! Remember, we just want to be listened to J

 

For all my numbers people out there:

Think before you speak + Listen more than you talk = Positive relationships!

 

Master Motivator signing out J

 

PS: always be very careful when whispering in front of a live microphone J

 

Achieving true happiness and success depends on many factors, but none really more important than what other people can do to help us right??? YES!

I wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for some awesome people in my life giving me advice, getting my foot in the door, telling me I’m screwing up, and of course supporting me in pursuing my dreams (thank you honey!). It’s absolutely mandatory we possess successful relationship skills to take our lives to the next level of abundance.

Q: So, what is the main ingredient to having successful relationships?

A: They MUST be mutually beneficial!

If you’re constantly taking from people and never giving guess what? You’ll wear out your welcome faster than Jesse James at Sandra Bullock’s parents house!

You see, when relationships no longer provide value we must begin the evaluation process to determine our best course of action for us right? However, in some situations we become hesitant to end a relationship because we are afraid of what it’ll do to the other person. Ask yourself, have you ever second guessed ending a friendship or intimate relationship because you thought the other person wouldn’t be able to handle it? Yes, of course! Feelings of guilt set in and you decided to keep trying or to settle for now until there was a better time.

Has anyone ever ended a relationship with you that came out of nowhere? Depending on the situation, chances are pretty dang good you were crushed and your mind became flooded with thoughts of “what will I do now?” Or “how can I go on without so and so?” Guess what…by the mere fact you’re reading this means you survived didn’t you? Yes!! And, you went through some tough times, but through it all you are now a stronger person right?

You might say at this point “Christopher…yeah I survived, but I’m never going to let my heart open to anyone like that again…it sucked!” Well, here is a very important point to having truly awesome and successful relationships:

You CANNOT blame people in your present or future for what anyone in your past did to you!

You’ve had good haircuts and bad haircuts, but ya never stopped getting your hair cut did ya? NO!

Can you imagine how many truly loving and trusting people are out there who have been kicked to the curb because someone was afraid to love and trust again? Should we be guarded in some situations? Yes. Should we communicate our apprehensions to the other person? Yes. However, what we need to remember is that each person who steps into our life is meant to be there at that time and place. Remember, when one window opens you either jump out of it or enjoy the breeze it offers

Life is a journey not a destination!

Upcoming posts in this series will include:

• Hearing Vs. Listening
• Speaking Vs. Talking
• Body Language – Am I Really Saying That???
• How To Manage Expectations – Yours & Theirs!
• The Ego – Getting Around It
• Happy Or Right? Which Is Better?
• No One Is Allowed In - The Guard Is Up
• How To Craft The Best Apology
• Dealing With Vulnerability
• Self Defense: React Versus Respond
• Understand Then To Be Understood
• Walk A Mile In Another’s Shoes – The Conditioning Process

But wait – there’s MORE! We’ll also talk about:

• Guilt
• Worry
• Trust
• Acceptance
• Judgment
• Patience
• Compromise
• Respect (earned versus implied)
• Hurt
• Betrayal
• Stubbornness
• Arguments
• Forgiveness

And…Much MORE!

In closing, whether it’s your boss, your spouse, your kids, the salesperson, or anyone else – you’ll quickly discover how to have AWESOME RELATIONSHIPS!

Until next time, please keep those cards and letters rolling in!

All my best,

Christopher

It’s Not Always About You

 

Step on in and have yourself a seat! This week we’ll keep it short and to the point J

 

For as long as I’ve been writing for Master Motivators, I’ve continuously focused on YOU! Yes, my dear friend who I’m confident one day I’ll meet in person. My dedication and passion is helping you (and me) grow as inspired and motivation people in our everyday lives. To fully – achieve our dreams!

 

However, this week I’d like to take the focus off you and me and place it on everyone else. Those who don’t have. Those who are scared about tomorrow. Those who have no one else to turn to. Those who’s lives will never be the same.

 

Who am I talking about? Well, in my experiences, there is no greater gift and experience you can have than making the life of someone you don’t know – just that much better.

 

Everywhere you go, you’ll find senior centers full of men and women who have been forgotten by their friends and families. Or, the children’s hospitals where innocent boys and girls are scared out of their minds about their future – or lack thereof. The homeless standing on the street corners begging for spare change.

 

Could you imagine just for a minute – the smiles on these strangers faces when you spend a little bit of your time with them to make life just a bit better? Volunteering to pass out food at the homeless shelter? Make small sandwiches and pass them to the people begging for money? A few stuffed animals to kids in the cancer wards? Some music and dance to the elderly in the homes who sit and play bridge 12 hours a day?

 

I know I know…YOU ARE BUSY! I get it, but perhaps in order to GET – you need to GIVE J I guarantee (and I don’t guarantee much), if you do this, you WILL find amazing gifts in life you never expected. Perhaps more patience for your healthy kids. More love for your own parents who are scared about dying. More determination for yourself to make EVERY MOMENT COUNT. Can you imagine?

 

John Lennon imagined and look what happened J

 

So, this is your assignment America! Get out and do something for someone else and post it back here! Can you PLEASE do that? No matter how small you think it is – share it here J

 

Until next week, please never take anything for granted and always be extremely grateful for what you have – life is an incredible blessing.

 

All My Best,

 

Christopher

 

 

Welcome back to another information packed episode of “It’s Your Life” starring YOU!

“What in the hell is going on??? Is this some sort of test or something?”

How many times have you screamed the statement above to yourself when life wasn’t going according to your plans? Well, I’ve said it a fare amount and I’m here to share with you what I did to ensure I would always A.C.E. those life tests.

Alright…alright…I can hear ya now “C’mon already Christopher, tell us what ACE stands for!!!” Your wish is my command. It represents:

        Attitude

        Commitment

        Energy

You see, back when I was about 18yrs old, I decided to turn my life around. Boy did I have A LOT of work to do! My goal was to get my G.E.D. and then earn a college degree. Not bad, but was also working a full-time job that was approximately a 1 ½ hr drive each way! Here was my schedule in a snapshot:

Up at 6am go to the gym
Then go to school (8am – noon)
Then drive to work & work (noon – 10pm)
Then drive home (10pm – 11pm)
Then do homework (11pm – 1am)

Back then my favorite saying was “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.” Quite honestly, to survive, took SERIOUS attitude, commitment, and a BUNCH of energy! Yes, Winchell’s coffee was my friend

Attitude:
With the hustle and bustle (where did that saying come from anyway?) in our lives today, we have to make dam sure we have the absolute right attitude. I’ll beat this drum until it’s dead beyond dead. Attitude is EVERYTHING! Really make sure what you’re pursuing is something you’re passionate about. Why? Because then the commitment and energy flow abundantly. Heck, even if you aren’t passionate about it, you can still look for the positives of the situation (“at least I have a job” is a good start), have a good attitude, and challenge yourself for the rest.

Commitment:
I meet people all the time who really have a great attitude, but still aren’t accomplishing what it is they really want. Why? Because they don’t ever fully commit to something. They try, it doesn’t work right away, then give up. To fully achieve your goals, sometimes life will test you to see if it’s REALLY that important to you. The difference between being good and extraordinary is the level of commitment you bring to the game. You have to push past the pain, past the negative self-talk and influences to cross that finish line!

Energy:
Do you think for a second athletes wake up before practice and games feeling super energetic? Seriously doubt it. So, what do they do? Well, in the words of my new fitness instructor (on the P90X workout DVD), they “BRING IT!” Ever heard me use the phrase “fake it ‘till ya make it”? If you psych your mind up and get your mojo a flowin’ – chances are very good your body and mind will follow. Ever see those people just moping through life with a look on their face like they just ate lemon morang sweetarts? Muster up your resources and get excited about your dreams! Make sure you’re getting enough sleep, eating right, exercising, and taking vitamins (please consult your doctor…).

So, there ya have it! Are you ready to ACE the tests that life will throw at you? Well, are ya? Let me hear it! Oh wait, I’m not there to hear it

Keep this ACE acronym in your pocket and pop it in your head like a Christopher Rausch Positive Pill when you are feeling overwhelmed.

Well kids, that wraps up another edition here on Achieve Your Dreams! May your dreams be bright and your attitudes brighter!

All my best,

Christopher

PS: please don’t forget to tell your friends, families, and enemies we’re here!!! Thanks!